Lee Fairfull felt guilt and anxiety after the birth of her son Callan in February, as she tried to meet the demands of motherhood and her job.
She shared her experience in an interview with the Press and Journal, drawing attention to the difficulties facing young mums balancing work and parenthood.
In her role as an Aberdeen city councillor, she also shines a light on the barriers facing women trying to get into public roles.
It comes as the Scottish Government looks at ways to make that balance easier in elected office with simple changes such as other councillors being able to vote on their behalf, known as proxy voting.
Ms Fairfull, an SNP councillor for Torry and Ferryhill, suffered complications throughout her pregnancy and ended up giving birth a month early on February 5.
“I went in on the 4th and they kept me in. And I had to have an emergency section on the 5th”, Cllr Fairfull recalls.
“We thought we still had a month left. I hadn’t even gone on maternity leave yet. I was still working even though I was a bit unwell.”
SNP colleagues were ‘extremely supportive’
Cllr Fairfull says her colleagues were “extremely supportive”, with fellow ward councillor Christian Allard helping with her caseload.
He made the case at local government body Cosla for proxy voting to be introduced, once he learned she was pregnant.
Cllr Fairfull was able to take around six months of maternity leave but had to make sure there were substitute members on her council committees.
‘Immense feeling of guilt’
The 30-year-old was in hospital for 10 days after giving birth and had to return almost daily in Callan’s first few weeks so he could be treated for jaundice.
This left her having to log-on in hospital to take part in a crucial council meeting.
She said:Â “It was really awkward because I was on my phone and I was breastfeeding at the time with a hospital background.
“There was a lot of that. Joining with a baby who doesn’t really know anything else.
“Hospital staff coming in and out. Trying to juggle those two things.
“I was feeling an immense sort of guilt leaving my council colleagues in the lurch a bit in those first few months.
“They were extremely supportive and they were delighted when the baby came. It did leave them short because proxy voting hadn’t progressed at that point.”
Cllr Fairfull says becoming a mum was a “whirlwind rollercoaster”, especially with her son’s health concerns, and with her partner working away for six-week spells.
“You feel devoted to them,” she added.
“You end up feeling like you’re having to pick between one and the other and one’s got to give.”
What is proxy voting?
The Scottish Government opened a consultation earlier this month on proxy voting for councillors.
It would be for local councils to determine how a scheme could work.
It could cover parental or adoption leave.
Other circumstances could include pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage or baby loss, along with serious long-term illness or injury and bereavement.
Cllr Fairfull, who also works as a caseworker for Aberdeen South MP Stephen Flynn, says other members of the council’s SNP group have individual circumstances which mean they could benefit from proxy voting.
She said: “A proxy vote would have made the lives of me and my colleagues so much easier.
“It’s a very grey area and I think it could do with something to make things clearer so people aren’t having that anxiety and guilt.”
“I just want to try and reduce those barriers as much as possible”, she added.
Conversation