Roll up, roll up, it’s time for another frantic finale of the movers and shakers.
Or, as football fans know it, the 2022 summer transfer window.
Yes, the most contrived and frankly impossible pursuit of perfection will officially close on Thursday evening when the clock strikes midnight.
If you are partial to a drinking game, take a sip every time you read or hear the words ‘breaking news’ or the phrase ‘the window has slammed shut.’ You’ll be full of the joys before lunchtime.
Between now and then look for all sorts of false starts, unlikely links, speculation, failed bids, red tape wrangles being discussed before in all likelihood the odd loan here or there to be signed off.
The transfer window remains a TV spectacle more than anything else. The yellow ties will be dusted down on 24-hour sports news channels while reporters hang around outside training grounds across the country in the hope of adding any snippet of information to hungry viewers.
But really, does anyone enjoy it?
Scotland an after-thought
In Scotland, the final week of the window is as good an example as you will find of trickle-down economics.
With a few notable exceptions – looking at you either side of Glasgow – there is unlikely to be too much in the way of financial transactions taking place.
While Celtic and Rangers will look to spend some of that hard-earned Champions League money on bolstering their squads for the challenge both foreign and domestic the rest will be looking to hoover up a free agent here or there or pick up a loan signing from a club in England.
Aberdeen have splashed the cash on a few occasions this season but we’re at a point where it’s decision time from Wolves and their player Connor Ronan.
The attacking midfielder has been coveted by Dons boss Jim Goodwin all summer but this move was always destined to go to the wire.
We will know soon enough whether the Dons get their man or have to look elsewhere but it’s a story often told by this point.
Long waits followed by mad, late scrambles – that’s the transfer window in Scotland.
That’s the benefit of being a Premier League club in England you see. You can wait until the very end of the window before deciding whether to let a young player leave on loan.
In Scotland, it’s one big, long waiting game and not just for the Premiership hopefuls.
Lower league sides hoping for a scrap from the top flight
That trickle-down effect mentioned earlier? Well, if you are Caley Thistle, Cove Rangers, Peterhead or Elgin City, chances are you are playing the same waiting game for Premiership sides to get their squads in place before sanctioning any loan move for fringe or young talent.
If players deemed surplus to requirements at their parent clubs can’t be loaned then the other late dash is to try to reach an agreement on a financial package and an amicable parting of the ways.
It does not take a genius to figure out there are a few players on the Pittodrie wage bill who have dropped so far down the pecking order at this point that they are not so much out in the cold as getting reading to build igloos.
You can expect at least one “Aberdeen can confirm (insert player name here) has left the club by mutual consent” before the clock strikes midnight on Thursday.
For the player, it gives him the chance to sign for another team after the window closes. For the club, it reduces the wage bill. For the fans, it’s a collective shrug of the shoulders followed by cheerio.
But exciting? Dramatic?
Clearly not.
Ach, at least it will only be a few short months before the fun starts all over again on January 1.