Former Aberdeen striker Christian Ramirez has opened up on the “grey cloud over my head” during his final months at Pittodrie – which got so bad he was hospitalised for three days.
The 32-year-old suffered a panic attack in December 2022 as the “uncertainty of everything” at the Dons took its toll.
Ramirez also explained how he was goaded by a group of Aberdeen supporters after a game at St Johnstone, who he says hoped to provoke a ” negative reaction” as they filmed the striker.
It was the same group who yelled at Ramirez’s wife Valerie as she walked to her car with their two young daughters at McDiarmid Park.
Now at MLS club Columbus Crew in the United States – where he won the MLS Cup in December – Ramirez is thriving and in a “completely different mental space” from that dark period late in his year-and-a-half-long spell with the Reds.
He said: “Towards December (2022), I was in the hospital in Aberdeen for three days.
“I think it was just a climax of everything that had gone on.
“The uncertainty of everything.
“To learn from that and be in the mental space I am now, I feel really thankful for everyone around me.
“It is not something that is easy to confront.
“I have spoken to people and done my due diligence on getting better.
“I’m in a completely different mental space now.
“I have grown as a footballer and also as a person from that.
“It was a tough stretch.”
‘Any footballer can take judgement and criticism, but when your family is attacked…’
Signed by Stephen Glass in summer 2021, Ramirez enjoyed an impressive start at Pittodrie.
He netted 15 goals in all competitions that season – but his Pittodrie career started to turn sour under Glass’ replacement Jim Goodwin, who was appointed in the February and then signed Bojan Miovski to lead the attack in summer 2022.
Ramirez’s No.9 shirt was even transferred to Miovski, with US international Ramirez suffered the ignominy of being handed the No.99 shirt.
A low-point came following a match at St Johnstone when a group of Aberdeen fans shouted at his wife Valerie as she walked to her car with daughters Nova and Zara.
They later turned their attention to Ramirez.
He said: “Any footballer can take judgement and criticism on the pitch.
“But when a situation happens when your family is attacked like that…
“My two daughters didn’t know what’s going on and my wife is just trying to enjoy herself and travel down with Jonny Hayes’ wife and kids to enjoy the game.
“Afterwards I found out those few that did that (to his wife) immediately came over to where the players were exiting for the bus.
“They tried to egg me on while they were filming.
“They were trying to get something negative out of me and I’m glad I didn’t take a bite on to it.
“I’m also glad I didn’t know it was them that did that initially, because that could have caused me harm in my image, potentially.
“They were people looking for an excuse in my eyes.
“I wasn’t playing at that time, but it was just a matter of not trying to dwell on everything going on and make the most of the situation.
“But people got a little bit carried away and tried to make me a scapegoat.
“Those few supporters that caused that situation.”
‘There was a grey cloud over my head’
Ramirez is quick to emphasise it was a very small minority of Aberdeen fans who were the problem.
He has the utmost respect for the Red Army and Aberdeen FC, despite suffering a tough end to his career in the Granite City.
The striker reveals he had held discussions on extending his Aberdeen contract before Glass was sacked on February 14, 2022.
Just days after Glass was axed, Ramirez was forced to delete a tweet commenting on Rangers’ 4-2 Europa League defeat of Borussia Dortmund.
Watching the game at home, the striker tweeted: “3-1 what a game so far”.
He accompanied his post with a Scotland flag, indicating that it was a good result for the country.
However, he was criticised for the post by some Dons supporters.
He said: “It starts to take an effect.
“There was a grey cloud over my head about the whole situation that was going on that could perhaps have been explained.
“Prior to Stephen Glass being sacked, we had discussed potentially redoing my deal and signing on to stay.
“Obviously those things didn’t work and went in a different direction.
“I just wish I could have cleared the air a little bit for the supporters so that they understood what was going on.
“I have the ultimate respect for the club Aberdeen and the supporters and we have a good relationship.”
‘It is tough mentally trying to show up every day knowing no matter what you do, you are not going to be used’
Following Goodwin’s arrival, Ramirez came close to a transfer deadline day move to the English Championship in the summer 2022 window – only for the deal to fall through.
It was then he was hit with the reality of being frozen out at Aberdeen until the next window.
He admits that was tough mentally.
Ramirez said: “Once it was clear I wasn’t in the plans anymore, my representatives started to make things happen.
“A deadline day move to the English Championship was agreed, but the English FA denied my work permit because I was docked a point as a foreigner.
“It hit me in reality I would just basically be training for seven months.
“As a footballer, it is tough mentally trying to show up every day knowing no matter what you do, you are not going to be used and not going to play.
“I needed to take that head-on and I did that.
“I don’t think there was a complaint from anyone thereafter.”
Taking strength from faith and family
Ramirez did not start in the Premiership again following that failed switch to England.
He would make six appearances in the League Cup and seven league appearances off the bench in that second season.
His final Dons match came when he was introduced as a substitute in the 2-1 League Cup semi-final loss to Rangers at Hampden on January 15.
Ramirez would then secure a move to Columbus Crew where he was an integral part in securing MLS Cup glory.
He has drawn inspiration from his faith in God throughout his career and that, as well as his family support, were key in the final months at Pittodrie.
Ramirez has the Bible verse Philippians 4:13 in his biography on social media platform X: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.
He said: “My faith helped as well as my family.
“My mum and my mother-in-law would come visit quite frequently and help us.
“But there was a stretch when we had no help and it was just my wife, me and the two kids.
“I think that was the toughest part.
“It was the first time we had been completely alone.
“We were on an eight-hour time difference, so when our day was ending, theirs’ was starting.
“You feel like you lose track of relationships and friendships from the States.
“You feel like days are moving by so slowly, which is always a tough adjustment.
“People think it is a simple thing, but it starts to wear on you a little bit, particularly in the winter months when the sun comes up late and goes down super early.
“It feels like the days are barely moving, that the hours in the day are stuck.
“But it helped us grow in our faith and together – and we became better for it.”
Read part two of our exclusive interview with ex-Aberdeen striker Christian Ramirez by clicking here.
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