Defender Angus MacDonald admits he questioned if he was wanted at Aberdeen and looked at options elsewhere in the January transfer window.
The 31-year-old was frustrated at the lack of game-time, having fallen out of favour under former Dons boss Barry Robson, who was axed on January 31.
MLS side Toronto FC and clubs in English League One were understood to be interested in the centre-back.
MacDonald says all he wanted was to play football as he did not want to regret lost time on the sidelines.
Not wasting time in his career is imperative for the defender following a bowel cancer diagnosis in 2019 at the age of 26.
MacDonald successfully completed treatment and made a full recovery, receiving the all-clear in December 2019.
He said: “I have missed too much football through no fault of my own, just illness.
“When I am not playing, I feel I have missed too much time.
“When I am fit and ready, I am so desperate to play.”
‘Was I wanted here? Was I not wanted here?’
The defender founded a charity in 2020, The Angus MacDonald Foundation, to highlight the importance of early diagnosis.
MacDonald joined the Dons on a short-term contract in January 2023 and played a pivotal role in finishing third in the Premiership to secure European group stage football.
Such was his impact, the centre-back signed a two-year contract extension and was relishing Aberdeen’s first group stage Euro campaign in 16 years.
However, he suffered an injury during pre-season and then struggled to get game-time on his return to fitness.
On a potential move in January, he said “I don’t think we were ever close.
“We were looking at options. I just wanted game-time.
“Was I wanted here? Was I not wanted here?
“Look at what I did last season and then I had fallen out of favour. Am I ever going to get the chance?
“All I have ever wanted to do is play football.
“If I wasn’t playing then I needed to look where I could get game-time.”
MacDonald says ‘it was hard to get any momentum’
MacDonald has returned to the starting line-up under interim manager Peter Leven – with the Dons registering four clean sheets in the last five league games.
He is in contention to start against St Johnstone at Pittodrie on Saturday.
Prior to Leven taking on the interim role, whenever MacDonald was given a chance, he grabbed it.
The defender netted a sensational long-range strike in the 2-2 Uefa Conference League group draw with HJK Helsinki in Finland.
He said: “It was massively frustrating.
“Even more so because of the way I finished last season.
“I was on such a high, playing in every game and getting into Europe.
“It was a massive factor in me staying as I had never played European football before.
“So to get the injury in pre-season and not really be given a chance, it was tough to take.
“When I did come in, I am not fully match fit.
“But how do I get fully match-fit when I am not playing a lot of games?
“I was coming in for one game and then coming out.
“It was hard to get momentum.
“The first half of the season was very frustrating.”
‘It just seemed that anything I did was never good enough’
In a bid to reclaim a regular starting slot, the defender continued to bust a gut in training.
That included extra sessions on the squad’s days off.
However, MacDonald felt “anything I did was never good enough”.
He said: “I was coming in on our days off and doing extra sessions.
“It just seemed that anything I did was never good enough.
“I have had it before in my career and I am sure I will have it again.”
Pride in wearing captain’s armband
MacDonald’s redemption was completed when he led Aberdeen out at Hampden in the Scottish Cup semi-final last month.
Leven turned to the defender as stand-in skipper as captain Graeme Shinnie was suspended for the semi.
The defender even netted a last-gasp leveller to draw 3-3 after extra-time and force a penalty shoot-out, which Aberdeen lost 6-5.
He said: “I have come in to do a job because Graeme is a fantastic captain. Everyone looks up to him and they are big shoes to fill.
“It has been a proud moment for myself.”
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