Highland Paralympian David Smith has been forced to abandon his dream of competing at the Rio Games because of the urgency of life-saving surgery on a spinal tumour.
The 37-year-old had hoped to be part of the Great Britain para-cycling team after winning rowing gold in 2012. The decision to quit has left him in tears and “fighting for my life” again.
He has already survived three rounds of surgery on the tumour.
Mr Smith said: “[I’m] losing the 8mm fight and fighting for my life in three weeks on the operating table again.
“You feel that one tear slowly run down your face and, as you close your eyes, another follows. This is the moment you’re met with emotion.
“Emotion can come in so many ways and I have cried through joy and fear over the years. However, the tear that is running down my face right now is one I didn’t think would happen this year.
“As I walked through the hospital, I could feel the world around me stop, then the door ope. I’ve walked through this door so many times – this was one of the most heart-wrenching moments.”
He went on: “The words didn’t even have to leave my surgeon’s mouth. I knew in a moment all my dreams for 2016 had gone.
“For me, it’s never been about winning medals in cycling. I just wanted to live and love the sport, but no matter how hard I fight, there is nothing I can do about it.
“It was growing so much that if I left it, it would crush my cord and I would stop breathing.”
The Aviemore-based athlete now feels that everything he had worked for since his last operation had been snatched away from him.
Mr Smith said: “Letting go of Rio” was one thing, but the really difficult part was actually feeling healthy – and “loving life.”
When the tumour returned last September, he originally said he wanted to delay surgery in a bid to make it to Rio.
Mr Smith won gold as a rower at the London Paralympics in the mixed coxed fours before switching to cycling.
Last June he cycled up Mont Ventoux in France three times in a day.